Unlike many manipulation cases, this one accuses the defendants of actually succeeding in moving prices. In 19 attempts they were able to slightly move the markets 24% of the time. In three instances, the illegal trading pushed prices of all three commodities lower, while the other two resulted in higher prices for gasoline and crude oil (must of been real whopper moves for such sizable positions to yield only a million bucks). Lucky these guys didn’t get their heads handed to them on a platter by some real market-moving manipulation, like when we tried to scare out all the evil long speculators in the oil market and caused a huge short squeeze higher instead! Oh yeah, and did we figure out yet who created that phony press release that caused Freddie Mac to shoot up a whopping 25% and the DOW over 250 points in less than 10 minutes? Or how about when that “respected” Deutsche Bank analyst Mike Mayo came out pumping the financials on July 22nd around 2:45pm, causing another 250 point jump in the DOW, and further squeezing many financial stocks up another 50% or more by the next morning. Makes you wonder if anyone knew that was coming… Oh my, I nearly forgot, we asked him to do that! muhahahah

Anyway, this has all been fun but we now have to get back to finding other ways to legally manipulate the markets into doing what we want them to – oops, did I say that out loud – I mean, into doing what’s in the best interest of the American people, like giving boatloads more money to our kind and honest banks, brokers, and mortgage companies just doing our bidding, while over-leveraging 50:1 in BILLIONS of dollars of mortgages that lose more value by the day. Why help homeowners directly when we can take so much more advantage of you by replenishing bank reserves at your expense instead, and letting them make fortunes off of you from the highly leveraged interest-rate differential risk-free. Heads we win, tails you lose bitch. It’s awesome! While you were all sleeping this past week burping up your brew the U.S. House passed the “Foreclosure Prevention Act of 2008″, HR 3221. Don’t like it? Tough, get a third job. We already rebated a bunch of you pocket change to buy a new iphone and a tank of gas. Once we ram this through the Senate too, Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson will be given an $800 BILLION blank check in the form of an increased Federal Debt Ceiling to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Think that’s bad? We’ve even managed to toss in a provision for the IRS to receive notice of all of your credit and banking card transactions! You gotta love it, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin must be snickering up from their graves! Even though the IRS was previously blocked by the courts from receiving this information, they’ll now have complete access to it through this $800 BILLION “housing” legislation! Wow! The banks #$#$ you all up the @#$@, and in return taxpayers get screwed with more huge debt, inflation, and loss of even more of the little privacy you all have left! Sort of like those people all getting arrested for “being uncivilized” while the FDIC decides how little to give back to IndyMac’s depositors. I’m surprised we didn’t managed to include people getting chipped yet [with rfid tags]! How many other terrific ways can we come up with help us better protect the hard-working American taxpayers at their expense, while leaving them all broke, destitute, and owing what little left they manage to save to the IRS. If that doesn’t get ‘em, we’ll just take the rest away through inflation. Gotta keep ‘em coming back to their banks and high-interest credit cards for their credit fix. Worst case, if something goes wrong again, we’ll just legislate the “High-Interest Credit Card Bailout Prevention Act of 2009″, you know, to protect the banks – oops, did I say that out loud? – I mean – the hard-working taxpayers – from widespread defaults on their usurious credit card loans!

Prosecuted for $1 MILLION bucks worth of petty questionable market manipulation, my ass. Just wait ’til your friendly banks, along with Fannie and Freddie, are done using all this additional newly extended credit to clean up their balance sheets and start actually lending money to people again.*1* Back to the golf course with my private jet. Soon after will be when the real inflationary fun, fireworks, and festivities begin! Quick, pass me the pork, bitch! Gotta buy up all the lube so I can sell it to you all like oil after we’re done banging and banging and banging YOUR close…

*1* Probably to those with the guts and the means to buy real-estate, this time at 25 cents on the dollar (since banks are rarely willing to take risks on anything else, well, unless they can get you to load up on an ultra high-interest rate credit card with a 40%+ APR).

• BANG MY CLOSE BITCH! - $100 BILLION ENERGY MARKET MANIPULATION PROVEN (on YouTube.com)
• ENERGY MARKET MANIPULATION PROVEN! - $100 BILLION - BANG MY CLOSE BITCH (on Blip.tv)
• Ron Paul on the Housing Bill
• HR3221 will allow IRS access to all credit card transactions
• House set to vote on Fannie/Freddie/ homeowner bailout TOMORROW!!
• Regulators Say Company Manipulated Oil Market
• Big oil producers invest trillions of petrodollars
• How Greenspan SCREWED America
• CFTC charges Optiver with oil-market manipulation
• Housing bill passes in House
• House passes housing bill after Bush says he will sign it
• The man who lost $6 billion - Brian Hunter brought down Amaranth with disastrous trades on gas. He is accused of manipulating the markets, yet not a shred of real proof has been brought forward.

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