Michelle Obama's magical Lanvin Sneakers that cost nearly $600 a pop (including sales tax).

Michelle Obama’s shiny metallic sneakers must have high-tech, top-secret and marvelously magical powers. You know, superpowers like walking on water, turning water into wine, lowering the national unemployment rate, helping to revive a crappy economy, reversing government overspending, lowering taxes and all that other really nifty hocus-pocus. Barack’s book sales must still be doing splendidly well to afford such unnecessary luxuries. With two White House blunders this week, the Obama administration certainly couldn’t afford this tacky and thoughtless third.

Although, I have to say, it is refreshing to see the First Lady looking so June Cleaver-esque, doing her charity work at a D.C. food bank along with Joe Biden’s wife (whatever her name is) marking their first 100 days in Washington. Since the Presidential Inauguration, Mrs. Obama has become the “it” woman for the mindless, fashionable set. Really, only a MINDLESS NIMWIT would shell out nearly $600 ($565 at Barneys.com – almost six Benjamins when you add D.C.’s 5.575% sales tax – presuming they were bou ght in the District) for a pair of freakin’ SNEAKERS.

Every “lady” knows that there is a certain time and place when it’s sociably acceptable to wear expensive attire. While meeting with heads of state, it would be more reasonable for Mrs. Obama to wear $550+ designer dress shoes. However, when “spreading the wealth” with handouts to the poor it’s not a fine time to flash pricy designer Lanvin sneakers! Maybe I’m totally off and it was a gift from the design house or a hand-me-down courtesy of the Tin Man. Either way, Mrs. Obama, you’re the First Lady of this country, prove to us that your family is fiscally and socially responsible with YOUR OWN MONEY AS WELL AS WITH OURS.

It wasn’t too long ago that many ridiculed damned Sarah Palin for the $150k spent on a new wardrobe for her and her family while on the campaign trail. Or the $520 loafers purchased for Senator John McCain. Sure, $150k from donations on a wardrobe is seemingly above and beyond. And $520 on a pair of dress loafers, in my opinion, isn’t all that bad. I’ve never met a man that owns more than five pair of shoes. So, it’s probably sufficed to say old Johnny’s probably put those puppies to good use. Fortunately for the Obamas, they’ve secured their place as the First Family and no longer need to win the crowd with fancy SNEAKERS. This administration’s inaugural celebration was the MOST EXPENSIVE yet, and with outlandish delicacies like $100 per serving wagyu steaks at cocktail parties this latest faux pas is just another one to add to taxpayers’ shit list.

It would be advisable that the First Lady fire her stylist a.s.a.p. and use good old common sense during these economic downtimes to aid her in her wardrobe choices. And I must say, our Second Lady, Joe Biden’s wife (whatever her name is) looked fetching in comfy silver Tory Burch ballet flats priced at a much SMARTER $195 dollars. As for me, my feet are happy and free in my twelve-buck turquoise blue rubber Havaianas flip-flops.