Teens accused of "sexting" are facing felony charges. Nope, that's NOT Miley Cyrus in the pic. That's me! Photo art by Michelle.

In the past few months there has been much buzz in the media concerning the salaciously hot and naughty teenage “sexting” phenomenon. If you’re not up to date on your mobile porn slang, sexting refers to the act of sending hot nudie OR semi-nude pics via cell phone. Which we all do at least a few times a day, right? Kind of like my seriously raunchy Twitter updates.

Just search on Google and a slew of sexting articles pop up that are so outlandish it’s mind boggling. In a case in Western Pennsylvania, teenagers are being charged with CHILD PORNOGRAPHY for sending and receiving pictures of themselves to other teens that THEY TOOK OF THEMSELVES. That’s some serious, crazy @ss sh*t, literally!

Horny teenage kids will be little horny teenage kids. That’s timeless. Why should these particular adolescents in Western PA (and in other states too, i.e. North Carolina) face felony charges that will haunt them throughout their LIFETIMES with a digital Scarlet Letter? In contrast, I’d like to know why teenage Disney whorebots like Miley Cyrus are labeled a “victim” of hacker theft when her now notorious implied shower pics were “uncovered”. Pictures that Miss Cyrus presumably TOOK of HERSELF (major shocker). So, why the f*** isn’t sweet, innocent, Christian Miley Cyrus labeled a SEX OFFENDER TOO?! Could it be because she sent her pictures via email over the internet and not by cell phone so she’s free and clear in a legal web loophole? Or is it because she’s been tagged and branded as the untouchable property of Disney and such a marvelously concocted publicity stunt would help skyrocket ‘Ho’annah Montana ratings and merchandise sales to Uranus?! Hmmm….me thinks the latter.

Doesn’t this ridiculousness just toot your horn and burn your caboose? With the PRIVILEGE of FAME comes RESPONSIBILITY.  Shouldn’t Miss Cyrus be a role model to her peers?  Hell yeah! 

Dear reader, I’d love to know what YOUR THOUGHTS are on this subject. Do YOU FEEL that young stars like Miley Cyrus should be broiled by the law with the same scrutiny as their non-famous teenage peers for distributing implied, semi-nude and nude images?  Comment below!

This message was approved by "Jesus" of My Local Bodega. Thanks sweet Jesus! Photo art by Michelle.

Oh poor Carrie Prejean’s “anti-gay” statement has gotten her in quite the publicity pickle and perhaps cost her the crown in the Miss USA Pageant. Carrie darling, surely you must have better social etiquette than to say such a scandalous thing to an openly gay Miss USA judge! Were you slipped truth serum backstage and that was the cause of your loose tongue?  Did Mr. Perez Hilton leave a gift basket full of magically delicious mushroom muffins in your dressing room and while hallucinating wonderfulness onstage Jesus whispered your now infamous response in your ear?  After all, who in their right mind gives such an honest and blunt answer with so much riding on the line?!

There’s been too much news coverage on this “scandal” it’s really outstanding. I must say Miss Prejean, I give you total props for your brutal honesty – whether I agree with it or not. That’s what this country is about – agreeing to disagree. Such an answer is unpopular in your home state of California and uber unpopular with the fickle Hollywood set.  Even f’ing tabloid hos like Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears are jumping on your publicity gravy train on Twitter! And the reality is Carrie, you’ve probably received more media attention with your answer had you actually won the crown. Kudos again. By the way, does anyone know who did win?

As for my personal thoughts on gay marriage/civil unions, well, I could really give a rat’s @## what two consenting adults chose to do. I kind of live by the libertarian and Hugh Heffner attitude of so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else and feels good then go for it. Who the hell am I to judge?

Personal opinions aside, facts are facts and the wedding industry tends to be recession proof. Even in this crap shoot economy enamored couples still want to get hitched (a groomzilla friend of a friend is spending $250+ a head). So, imagine if more states cashed in on gay marriage/civil unions (the old ball and chain, whatever you want to call it). The potential to stimulate Main Street in your local market could be tremendous. Bakeries, florists, wedding planners, chapels, temples, caterers, wedding singers, travel agencies, beauty salons, photographers, videographers, LAWYERS and more could all BENEFIT from more MOOLAH! Picture the extra revenue stream small town divorce or contracts lawyers could earn JUST from preparing and negotiating prenuptial agreements. Really, it could be FABULOUS! And if the state of marital bliss should deteriorate, rot and fester like the majority of “opposite marriages” in America those lawyers will have the opportunity to pounce for the real kill – DIVORCE! After the personal pain, angst, heartache and time consumed in divorce (we’ll assume the prenup protected assets) should these newly divorced singletons fall foolishly in love and want to head down the aisle yet again, LAWYERS and other wedding service and hospitality businesses can cash in a second time. Or a third. Woo-hoo!

Who here is for gay marriage more MONEY? Well, the bottom-line is business is never personal…or is it? One thing that’s certain and remains a constant in our society is our love and need for the big bucks and here in the States many worship the cash cow.  So, who cares what your sexual orientation is, what your religious beliefs, morals and ethics are (or lack thereof).  MONEY is a universal love and the power of LOVE conquers all.

Oh yeah, and the comment about Jesus in the title of this post, that was just the open opinion of “Jesus” at my friendly, local bodega. At least that’s what it sounded like he grumbled.  Okay, I’ve never actually been to a bodega.