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Freak Show: Joe Jackson Pimps Michael Jackson’s Memorial Service

Michelle — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:29:08 +0000

Tickets to attend Jackson's memorial service circus will have fans shelling out more than mere peanuts.

Update: Tickets are free via online lottery. Over 1.6 million people registered for the chance to receive one of the 17,500 free tickets.

The King of Pop is dead but the “Wacko” media circus is alive and well! Radaronline.com posted on their blog today that Michael Jackson’s memorial service will be held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles next Tuesday, July 7th.

Michael Jackson’s father Joe Jackson is said to be in charge of this Hollywierd extravaganza, milking his cash cow of a son, even in death. The two hour long service will have many superstars in attendance. However, Jacko’s fans will have to shell out a lot more than mere peanuts to attend this memorial circus. The nosebleed seats are set to have a nauseating ticket price: a whopping twenty-five clams a pop. M.J. merchandise not included! Gotta love show biz – it’s oh so clASSy!

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HOT TEEN SEXTING! Is MILEY CYRUS a SEX OFFENDER?

Michelle — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:16:20 +0000

Teens accused of "sexting" are facing felony charges. Nope, that's NOT Miley Cyrus in the pic. That's me! Photo art by Michelle.

In the past few months there has been much buzz in the media concerning the salaciously hot and naughty teenage “sexting” phenomenon. If you’re not up to date on your mobile porn slang, sexting refers to the act of sending hot nudie OR semi-nude pics via cell phone. Which we all do at least a few times a day, right? Kind of like my seriously raunchy Twitter updates.

Just search on Google and a slew of sexting articles pop up that are so outlandish it’s mind boggling. In a case in Western Pennsylvania, teenagers are being charged with CHILD PORNOGRAPHY for sending and receiving pictures of themselves to other teens that THEY TOOK OF THEMSELVES. That’s some serious, crazy @ss sh*t, literally!

Horny teenage kids will be little horny teenage kids. That’s timeless. Why should these particular adolescents in Western PA (and in other states too, i.e. North Carolina) face felony charges that will haunt them throughout their LIFETIMES with a digital Scarlet Letter? In contrast, I’d like to know why teenage Disney whorebots like Miley Cyrus are labeled a “victim” of hacker theft when her now notorious implied shower pics were “uncovered”. Pictures that Miss Cyrus presumably TOOK of HERSELF (major shocker). So, why the f*** isn’t sweet, innocent, Christian Miley Cyrus labeled a SEX OFFENDER TOO?! Could it be because she sent her pictures via email over the internet and not by cell phone so she’s free and clear in a legal web loophole? Or is it because she’s been tagged and branded as the untouchable property of Disney and such a marvelously concocted publicity stunt would help skyrocket ‘Ho’annah Montana ratings and merchandise sales to Uranus?! Hmmm….me thinks the latter.

Doesn’t this ridiculousness just toot your horn and burn your caboose? With the PRIVILEGE of FAME comes RESPONSIBILITY. Shouldn’t Miss Cyrus be a role model to her peers? Hell yeah!

Dear reader, I’d love to know what YOUR THOUGHTS are on this subject. Do YOU FEEL that young stars like Miley Cyrus should be broiled by the law with the same scrutiny as their non-famous teenage peers for distributing implied, semi-nude and nude images? Comment below!

Angelina Jolie, Please Adopt Slumdog’s Rubina Ali! Quick!

Michelle — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:07:56 +0000

I came across this article about nine-year-old Slumdog Millionaire actress, Rubina Ali allegedly being SOLD by her father while updating my last post. According to Reuters, Rubina’s biological mother, Khurshid blew the whistle on her ex-husband, Rafiq Qureshi for trying to SELL HIS NOW FAMOUS DAUGHTER for $290,000.00 U.S.D.

Just a few weeks ago the celebrity blog ImNotObsessed.com published that Angelina Jolie reportedly told Rubina Ali’s Slumdog co-star, Azharuddin Mohammed when asked if she’d consider adopting a child from India, “Well, I’ll let you into a little secret, we will soon.”

Hey Angie, strike while the iron is hot – here’s your big chance! ADOPT RUBINA! It would be a win/win and TERRIFIC PUBLICITY! Not that Brangelina needs more… On a personal note, I don’t find it shocking that a daughter of India was auctioned off (even if it was just a sting operation) – that’s commonplace, hell, you saw Slumdog, right?! However, the irony that THIS GIRL would be auctioned off, a little actress who now is known around the world for helping to tell how life is in that up and coming part of the globe is now a likely victim herself.

Do you think Angelina should adopt Rubina making her child number seven?

FINGER AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Michelle — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:00:00 +0000

America’s Sexiest Hand Supermodel, Fingerella Strokeoneoff, gives us the lowdown on hand jobs, celebritydom and recovery from her drug addiction. Watch out for this diva or she might introduce yo’ @ss to da F.i.S.t.!

Women in Film Morphed into a Masterpiece

Alexander P Morris — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Mary Pickford, Lillian Gish, Gloria Swanson, Marlene Dietrich, Norma Shearer, Ruth Chatterton, Jean Harlow, Katharine Hepburn, Carole Lombard, Bette Davis, Greta Garbo, Barbara Stanwyck, Vivien Leigh, Greer Garson, Hedy Lamarr, Rita Hayworth, Gene Tierney, Olivia de Havilland, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Ginger Rogers, Loretta Young, Deborah Kerr, Judy Garland, Anne Baxter, Lauren Bacall, Susan Hayward, Ava Gardner, Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Lana Turner, Elizabeth Taylor, Kim Novak, Audrey Hepburn, Dorothy Dandridge, Shirley MacLaine, Natalie Wood, Rita Moreno, Janet Leigh, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren, Ann Margret, Julie Andrews, Raquel Welch, Tuesday Weld, Jane Fonda, Julie Christie, Faye Dunaway, Catherine Deneuve, Jacqueline Bisset, Candice Bergen, Isabella Rossellini, Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Lange, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sigourney Weaver, Kathleen Turner, Holly Hunter, Jodie Foster, Angela Bassett, Demi Moore, Sharon Stone, Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Salma Hayek, Sandra Bullock, Julianne Moore, Diane Lane, Nicole Kidman, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon, Halle Berry

Music: Bach’s Prelude from Suite for Solo Cello No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007 performed by Yo-Yo Ma

Paris Hilton BACK In JAIL :: Exclusive Leaked Footage – Body Cavity STRIP Search!

Alexander P Morris — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Paris Hilton, hotel heiress and celebritante, has officially surrendered herself to the Los Angeles County Sheriffs’ authorities and has begun to serve her 23 day sentence. We at HotRoast have obtained exclusive footage of Paris’ check-in and full booty.. er, body cavity search.

Paris Hilton Exclusive: Pump It Up for the POKEY! Jail – Jailbait Couture

Alexander P Morris — Mon, 28 May 2007 22:00:00 +0000

With the recent debut and success of Paris the Heiress’ fashion line, Jailbait Couture, Paris and her Midas touch have struck gold once again with a workout series sure to get your heart rate racing. We at HotRoast have obtained exclusive footage from the fitness princess-to-be’s first workout DVD entitled “Pump It UP for the POKEY”.

Paris Hilton Exclusive Interview :: Turning Jail into Sales with Heiress’ New Fashion Collection “Jailbait Couture”

Alexander P Morris — Mon, 07 May 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Update 6/09 – E! Entertainment loved this vid for their new working pilot “Love 2 Hate” – hopefully the show will make it to the small screen! Hotel heiress turned celebritante, Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in a Los Angeles county jail for violating her probation. Despite her harsh prison sentence Paris and her Midas touch are never one to spoil a chance for media exposure. We at HotRoast have obtained an exclusive interview with Paris the Heiress herself at a recent shoot for her new fashion line fittingly named Jailbait. Now that’s hot! Music “Let’s Do Crime” by Fundamental.

Vienna Exposed :: Behind-the-Scenes

Alexander P Morris — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Get a hot and steamy, behind-the-scenes glimpse of the web’s favorite cewebrity, Vienna Marriott. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears – move over! Music: “Babette” by Fundamental.

Vienna Marriott’s How-to Handle Your Haters

Michelle — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Vienna Marriott, the cewebrity you either “love to love” or “love to hate” gives her steamy, bubble bath advice on how to handle haters online. Music: “Babette” by Fundamental

Celeb Rehabs – Lookin’ for a Hot Vacation Spot?

Alexander P Morris — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Malibu brings it. Luxury rehab that is for up to $18,500 per week. With posh digs like this screw stayin’ clean – especially if your insurance covers it! Music “Babette” by Fundamental.