6. Britney Spears – 5. Tiffany “New York” Pollard – 4. Halle Berry 3. Albus Dumbledore – 2. Lifegem – 1. Scarlett Johansson
Michelle Renee Coudon as Vienna Marriott
Alexander Paul Morris as Gay Salmonella
Gay: Coming in at number six on our Kooky ‘n Spooky Countdownâ€¦Britney wants you to eat her muff!!! (Gay makes a sour face)
Vienna: (to Gay) I know honey that’s not your taste. No, that’s more like she wants you to eat her muff-in!
Gay: We all know that Brit is a bit nutty and now you can taste her too!
Vienna: Well sort of! 1800muffins.com has baked up a shamefully delicious marketing ploy! They’ve introduced a new name for a dozen of their tastilicious Rum Nut Raisin muffins. Hey, Gay can you guess what it is?
Gay: Well it is has rum in it, rum is for pirates, is it called the Ho, Ho, Ho?!!!
Vienna: Close but no dice. I think that one might be for Tara Reid. 1800muffins has christened this baker’s dozen the “Nutty Drunk”. And a portion will go to charity.
Gay: A portion?!!! If I’m paying for some pricey muffin I want to eat every single bite.
Vienna: Gay!!! Not that kind of portionâ€¦a portion of the profits silly!!!
Vienna and Gay: We say “Hump It!”
Vienna: Or Bite It
Gay: Or Eat It
Vienna: or Lick Itâ€¦â€¦
Gay: Or binge itâ€¦.
Vienna: Or purge itâ€¦
Number 5: Mmmmâ€¦mmmmâ€¦.Toe Suckin’ Good!
Vienna: Gay and I both concur that KFC is finger lickin’ goodâ€¦
Gay: I’ve heard of lip service and this hornball courtier on “I Love New York 2″ gives it a whooole new meaningâ€¦
Vienna: FRREEEAAKYYYâ€¦.Oh no, he didn’t (snap)
Gay: Yes, he did (snap snap)
Gay and Vienna: We say Double Dump It!
Vienna: I wonder how much he charges for a pedicure
Gay: I WONDER what else he SUCKSâ€¦
Number 4: Halle’s Berries Got Tricks ‘n Treats
Gay: They say milk does the body good!
Vienna: Yes, they do indeedy! And it appears as if milk has done soon-to-be megastar momma Halle’s berries quite good.
Gay and Vienna: We say Double Hump It!!!
Vienna: (singing opera) Thanks for the mammeriesâ€¦.
Gay: Vie, do you have any Yoo-hoo in the fridge? I totally just got a craving for some chocolaty milk.
Vienna: Me too sweetie, but I don’t think that milk is kosher.
Number 3: Dumbledore Does Wizards’ Wands
Vienna: Another celeb outted out of the closet and this time not by Perez Hilton
Gay: Author of the megasuccessful Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling announced at Carnegie Hall in New York earlier this month that her character Albus Dumbledore plays on the same team.
Vienna: Hey Gay, I wonder if old Dumbley does mugels. Ya know you might just get lucky.
Gay: He might do mugels honey but I only do moguls.
Vienna: Too bad for you J.K. is a woman.
Vienna and Gay: Gay says “Hump It”
Number 2: Stiff as a Rock
Gay: If you wanna party like a celebrity you’ve gots to have some serious bling.
Vienna: This one is just in time for Halloweenyâ€¦.
Gay: (snickers) You said Weenieâ€¦hehe
Vienna: Lifegem diamonds gives a whole new meaning to “stiff as a rock”.
Gay: If you’re a real trendsetter you know it’s all about being green. Now you can make good use of your dearly departed loved ones and pets.
Vienna: No Gay, Kermit the Frog is green – it’s all about going green! Lifegem is a certified, high-quality, man-made diamond created from the carbon of your loved one. For more information go to www.lifegem.com .
Gay: Wow, FRREEAKY!!! So, it’s not just green you can make them yellow, red and blue too!!!
Vienna : Ummmâ€¦yeah, something like that Gay.
Gay and Vienna : We say “Dump It”
Gay: I love me some bling but this one puts the reek in Freak.
Vienna : I think I’ll stick to recycling plastics, metals and paper thank you!
Number 1: Scarlett Jo Gives Good Oral
Vienna : We saved the best for last. Coming in at spot numero uno on the countdown blondie bombshell Scarlett Johansson gives a piece of her head.
Gay: (gasps) She gaveâ€¦ohhhhh so that’s how you get a HEAD in Hollywood .
Vienna : Settle down Gay. Don’t get your butt plug all knotted in a twist. It’s not quite what YOU think my pervy friend but it might have given Scarlett Jo’s hottie bf Ryan Reynolds a good scream.
Gay: Vie, you can’t stop halfway through! Dish!
Vienna : Sorry, honey. I had to come up for some air. Remember the good old days when Angelina and Billy Bob used to swap spit and wear vials of each others blood around their neck?
Gay: Wow, Pre-Brangelina seems like eons ago. Go a-HEADâ€¦hehe.
Vienna: Rumour has it —- hey no – not that Rumer just a rumour â€“ has it that Miss Scarlett recently had her wisdom teeth extracted and had one of her pulled pearly whites dipped in gold and made into a pendant for her beau for his bday.
Gay: (gushingly) Wow, Scarlett is sooo green!!! But this is FRRREAAAKKKYYY
Gay and Vienna : We say “DUMP IT!!!”
Vienna : Sorry, Scarlett you’re a hottie but the tooth thing is a bit of a nottie. Stick with a lock of hair next time.
Gay: Hair from where??!!!
Vienna smacks Gay
Vienna: That’s it for this Celebrity Hump It or Dump It Top Kooky ‘n Spooky Countdown!
Gay: Don’t forget to comment, rate it, favourite it, video response it and subscribe if you haven’t already!
Vienna : Wow, I think you covered all the bases on that one! Ciao for now ~~muah~~~
Gay: Muah â€“ha-hahaha
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