Y’all remember September 11th, 2001, that now notorious day in world history when a Saudi thug by the name of Osama Bin Laden was credited for the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil ever? It’s been quite some time, so your memory might be a wee bit foggy. Especially for those of you who weren’t on the island of Manhattan, or a bridge or tunnel’s distance away that late summer morning.
Fast forward seven-and-half years later to present day. We have a new thug by the name of Obama in the White House. He’s a super cool cat, sensitive and congenial. He’s the people’s clear choice for HOPE and CHANGE and all that other really, really, good Socialist mumbo jumbo. So Mack Daddy Obama, why did this assholish event take place Monday, involving YOUR 747 jet diving through lower Manhattan?!! Granted, it did say “Air Force One” on the side for anyone with Superman-esque laser vision to see. Of course, assuming those same people weren’t also fleeing for their lives. Mr. President, I’m sure you have a fascinating explanation. Perhaps you just didn’t know what your incompetent employees were planning to do with tax payers’ loose CHANGE of $329,000 dollars, right G?
Well, it turns out Mr. Prez didn’t know diddly ’bout this shizzle and is pissed, fo real yo. Mr. Louis Caldera claims responsibility for the super duper idea to fly Air Force One over New York City and New Jersey. The purpose? It was for a “training flight” AND sexy mid-air flyover photo shoot, barely missing Lady Liberty’s left ear. I wonder where he brewed such a fab plan to terrorize thousands of New Yorkers SHIrTLESS? Me thinks most likely while on the can – what better place to come up with crap (like me writing this blog)! This “hip” administration just couldn’t stand to have the same old passé photographs of Air Force One hanging over Mount Rushmore. Ugh…that’s so “100 days” ago. It would look tacky on the many coffee tabletops at the White House Crib. Gotta impress the international homies, word.
During a press conference a pissed-off Mayor Mike Bloomberg politely stated that the photo shoot was “insensitive” and that he was “furious” that he wasn’t told about it. Someone forgot to pass the Mayor of New York City a memo?! Oopsie…
For the $329,000 large the government wasted on some dope pics and a joyride, they could’ve purchased 465 licenses of Adobe Photoshop CS4 with a bonus of three blinged out camels, ten goats and 12 jackasses. Well, maybe hold the jackasses – Obama’s already got those positions filled.
If a talentless half-wit like myself can hack together the above picture in Photoshop all by my lonesome, I’d place a Fifty Cent bet that a non-paid White House intern can too. They could save even more taxpayer money and download an illegal copy (no biggie by Washington’s standards)! Surely Prez Obama’s peeps are familiar with Photoshop. I mean, c’mon, isn’t that what they used to create his “legitimate” birth certificate that’s been circulating around the internet? And why do they need new pictures anyway?! Is the President planning to charter out Air Force One to rich Middle-Eastern oil or real estate magnates? I hear the Bin Laden family is filthy rich.
Answers damn it, New Yawkers want REAL ANSWERS!!! And possibly a few government goofballs’ cushy jobs WHACKED!