Lindsay Lohan’s Job Blows – Where’s Suri Cruise? – Paris Hilton Is Full of Bologna – Rocketboom Gone Rocketbust?

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Lindsay Lohan’s Job Blows – Where in the World is Suri Cruise? – Paris Hilton is Full of Bologna – Rocketboom Gone Rocketbust?

Lindsay Lohan’s Job Blows

For the millions per picture Ms. Lohan is making you wouldn’t think she would have to service her fellow actors on the set of “Georgia Rule”. I mean, you would think unzipping stuck zippers with her teeth would be a job left to wardrobe!

Now you’ll be able to catch Lindsay on late night television. No, not Showtime, Skinemax or the Spice Channel – at least not yet. Lindsay has signed on with the likes of Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Vanessa L. Williams to become the latest celebrity spokesperson for ProActiv Solution (Gunthy-Renker). Who knew that having a pimple face could rake in $2 million bucks?! Hell, for that much I’d consider doing a herpes infomercial…if they exist…or maybe not.

Where in the World is Suri Cruise?

How would you like to earn an extra 100,000 dollars this year? Break.com is giving away 100 large to anyone who can provide the first clear, authentic video footage of baby Suri with mommy and daddy.

There has been a lot of Suri conspiracy theories buzzing about the blogosphere. Some believe Suri may be a hoax despite recent sightings in Telluride, Colorado.

I have two theories of my own. Theory #1: Tom Cruise’s enormous ego wants baby Suri’s pictures to go for more than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s $4.1 million (that btw, was all donated to charity). Apparently, Suri’s pictures were estimated to go for only a paltry 2-3 million but if the baby doesn’t seem to exist then that should drive up the price. Right? Theory #2: Baby Suri is being held at ransom by the evil alien Xenu in a volcano lair somewhere in the Colorado Rockies vicinity.

Let me know where in the world you think Suri Cruise might be!

Paris Hilton is Full of Bologna

Paris the Heiress claims that she is giving up sex for one whole, entire year. Unfortunately, the source article didn’t clarify what kind of years. Perhaps Paris meant dog years or house fly years.

On the subject of one night stands Ms. Hilton was quoted as saying, “One-night stands are not for me. I think it’s gross when you just give it up.”

However, I’m sure she might have some kind of moral clause like one-night stands are not gross if taped, the footage is distributed by Red Light District, and she of course owns the copyrights and shares the profits.

Rocketboom Gone Rocketbust?

For those of you not in the know, the original face of Rocketboom, Amanda Congdon left the very popular online video blog after a dispute with partner and creator Andrew Baron earlier this month.

Rocketboom 2.0 launched last Wednesday with new host Joanne Colan. Joanne is a former MTV Europe VJ with other credits in traditional media. Amazingly, she bears a very similar physical resemblance to Ms. Congdon.

The now former host Amanda allegedly wrote this bit of advice for Joanne on Joanne’s blog, “Best of luck! (Just be sure to sell your soul to Andrew).”

Rocketboom may have a new host but you HotRoast viewers know there can only be one, true bad girl / sexpot / girl-next-door vlog host online ;o) After all, only someone like yours truly would vlog in the nearly nude!

Thanks for tuning in and feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts. Ciao!



  • One thing I have actually noticed is the fact there are plenty of misguided beliefs regarding the finance institutions intentions any time talking about property foreclosures. One delusion in particular is that often the bank prefers to have your house. The bank wants your cash, not your home. They want the money they lent you having interest. Avoiding the bank will simply draw any foreclosed final result. Thanks for your write-up.

  • It appears like my favorite thesbian Tom Cruise is up to his old tricks again. He’s a new picture coming out with Cameron Diaz and it looks like it’s going to be an excellent one particular, I just really appreciate Tom Cruise movies, I believe he’s truly good at these varieties of action films. This latest picture is an action-comedy centered on a fugitive couple on a thrilling and sometimes dangerous adventure where nothing and no one – even themselves – are what they look. Amongst switching alliances and unforeseen betrayals, they race across the globe, with their survival ultimately hinging on the battle of truth against trust- I won’t be able to wait for this to come out.

  • Michael:

    Michelley!!!!!, your a new style in town, ie a new way of approaching all the envied celebrities in media. I am loving that. I would love to see you dance and I loved that teenage boob jobs episode.

  • I think she’s talking about the naked celebs vlog she did a while back – made me a loyal fan! :-)


  • j-pizzy:

    You are a long way from *nearly nude* girl…

  • Convictus:

    Yeah! new hotroast. Thanks for keeping us in the know!

    and thanks for being so hot!

  • pootiebang:

    hmm I wonder if Lindsay blows Paris’ bologna too! that would be hotttt.

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