Suri Cruise Unveiled – Celeb Arrests: Paris Hilton & 50 Cent – La Lohan: Victim of Grand Theft

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Finally!!! Suri Cruise Unveiled :: Celeb Arrests – Paris Hilton and 50 cent :: Lindsay Lohan: Victim of Grand Theft (or forgetfulness)

Disclaimer: The images used of Suri Cruise in association with Vanity Fair in this video are NOT actually represenative of Suri Cruise’s image or the October 2006 issue of Vanity Fair. It’s a parody people – just so you know.

Finally!!! Suri Cruise Unveiled

It’s what everyone this week has been talking about. The war in Iraq? No. The mutha-fucka Taliban suicide car bombing in Kabul? Nope. The world’s biggest mystery girl has finally been unveiled. Not because she was wearing a burka. Rather because she has strange Scientologist parents. Pobresita.

In the October issue of Vanity Fair we finally get a peek and confirmation that little Baby L. Ron…oops, I mean Baby Suri Cruise is alive and well on this planet. Renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz photographed Suri with Mom, Katie / Kate Holmes and Dad, Tom Cruise in Telluride, Colorado this past July.

There’s been a lot of speculation regarding the paternity of TomKat’s lil’ kitten. Comedian Carlos Mencia commented that Jet Li was possibly the father. We’ve all been dying to get a look-see of Suri and she is absolutely adorable! Don’t ya think? Suri is featured in 22 pages of VF. According to it’s the most that the publication has ever devoted to an Asian-American. Way to go Suri! But 22 pages of baby pics? C’mon. When I actually shell out the 3.95 or whatever it is for a publication like Vanity Fair I’m paying to look at the ads of unrealistically perfect people. And then feel horrible about myself, sulk all the while devouring a pint of Hagen-Dagz.

I know y’all are just dying to get a copy! The October issue hits newsstands nationwide September 12th.

Vanity Fair Magazine Source Source

Celeb Arrests – Paris Hilton and 50 Cent

Paris Hilton was cuffed this week and no it wasn’t for another sex tape or a new music video. The Heiress was arrested for driving under the influence. She was pulled over for erratic driving and reportedly had a blood alcohol level of .08 which is the minimum for a DUI in the state of California.

Paris admitted that she had just one margarita earlier that evening and was speeding to an In-N-Out Burger. Talk about having the munchies. Ok, and Paris driving erratically…does that sound like news to you? I’m just surprised it’s taken her this long to get busted. Unfortunately, the LAPD will not be releasing her booking photo. Damn, that would have been fun! Source

This next celeb arrest isn’t a big shocker. Hip-Hop Idol, 50 Cent (a.k.a. Curtis Jackson) was arrested on the corner of 35th St. & 8th Ave. here in Manhattan this past Friday while driving his very inconspicuous, shiny, silver Lamborghini.

I’m still not totally sure why he was arrested, some Gossip blogs have reported for possible cocaine possession. However, a police spokesman said he was cited for making an unsafe lane change, driving with an expired permit, driving without insurance and driving without a vehicle registration.

If you’re a hard-ass looking gansta driving an Italian convertible sports car around heavily guarded Penn Station and NYPD Midtown South Precinct you’re just asking for trouble. Source Source

Oh, no! La Lohan: Victim of Grand Theft (or forgetfulness)

Lindsay Lohan allegedly had her Hermès Birkin bag containing her asthma medication and over $1 million dollars worth of jewelry stolen from her luggage trolley at London’s Heathrow Airport this week. Scotland Yard later confirmed to that the handbag had been recovered with all of its contents.

Firstly, who in the hell carries over $1 million dollars worth of jewelry in a handbag? Anywhere let alone traveling. That’s enough money to feed half of Africa for three months straight. You deserve to have it stolen from you if you’re so damned careless with your belongings. And then who in the hell would anonymously return a Birkin with a shitload of bling back to the police?

It sounds to me like Ms. Lohan may have been a victim of a drug induced blackout or sheer forgetfulness and misplaced her belongings. Source


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