Aleksey Vayner “Impossible is Nothing” Spoof

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Like Trump says, “There’s no such thing as overexposure.” Here’s a little
spoof we came up with on Aleksey Vayner’s resume video as featured on MSNBC…

Michelle: Alexander, you’re known and renowned around the world as someone who’s studied the principles of personal development for many years. It’s a generally accepted principle that people are much happier when they’re able to grow, develop, and have lots of money. As a trader and entrepreneur, we’d be very interested to learn more about what it takes to achieve success in trading the stock market. What would you say are the defining characteristics that have led to your unparalleled level of success through your involvements in trading, hedge funds, investing, programming, sports, masturbating, singing and dancing?

Alexander: Well, first of all, thank you for that very kind introduction of myself. To begin, you must understand that success is a mental transformation, not an external event.

To be successful, you must first know exactly what you want to achieve. You have to know that you can beat the market. That you can whip it, kick it, and smack it around.

You have to commit to the sacrifices it’ll take to achieve your goals.

Oh yeah, and you must believe beyond any reasonable doubt that you’ll achieve your goals.

Michelle: Wow, that’s very interesting Alexander. Thank you for those highly insightful insights. Where did you acquire such knowledge?!

Alexander: Well, I’ve traveled the world seeking greater knowledge and enlightenment, and throughout my travels I have seen and discovered many amazing people who provided me with much spiritual guidance.

Through my travels, I’ve also learned that failure cannot be considered an option.

It’s been my personal experience that your level of physical fitness reflects directly in your mental sharpness, release of stress, and in the energy level you have to take care of your tasks.

Michelle: Hmmm, that is very interesting. I didn’t realize how important that was, especially for dealing with stress and clearing your mind.

Alexander: As you train to provide your body with the level of energy and intensity that you need to pursue your tasks you inadvertently train your mind too. I discovered much to inspire me in this regard along my wide-spread journey.

Always push your limits – always push your comfort zone.

Michelle: That’s fascinating. Please tell us more…

Alexander: And as you train to expand and step out of your comfort zone mentally, you soon realize that the things that most people around you consider impossible to do are actually completely within your grasp.

Alexander: Many people believe that successful people are lucky. I completely disagree with that notion. Successful people think in very specific patterns, which then create opportunities for them that they can seize. It’s like that in trading too. You find ways to scan the markets for great opportunities, and once you do, you consider the risk versus the rewards, and then, without hesitation, you pounce. My new DVD that I recently released teaches you exactly what it takes to succeed, and how you too can be your own hedge fund, and learn to successfully trade the stock market.

An average observer thinks that’s luck. Luck doesn’t jump into anyone’s lap. Success requires persistence, perseverance, attention to detail, and of course patience. As a long-time trader and a partner in a hedge fund, I can say that while luck is always nice to have on your side, if it was ever something that was counted on for success, we wouldn’t survive very long, and we would likely go the way of the Amaranth hedge fund with their “heads I win, tails you lose” approach to trading and investing.

Michelle: It’s amazing to learn that it’s not about luck, but really about reading the right self-help books and smoking the right dope.

Alexander: That’s right! People around you might tell you that you won’t succeed — ignore them.

Early in my teens, I was really scared trying to ski down a big adult ski slope. People all laughed at me and said I would never get over my fears and that I should just give up and sip hot cocoa in the ski lodge. But I didn’t let that stop me. Now I can take on anything and everything the ski slopes throw my way.

Alexander: When people tell you that you that you won’t be able to achieve something cross them out of your life because they’re directly interfering with your success.

Michelle: So ignore the losers, and learn to confront the things that you fear the most.

Alexander: That’s exactly right again! Bring your a-game, your determination, and your drive to the field, and success will follow you.

Alexander: There’s another peculiar thing about success. Anything you do you must pursue with your entire heart. Live your life openly. Go all out for what you want to achieve and what you believe in. If you’re gonna work, work, if you’re gonna train, train. if you’re gonna dance, well, then dance.. but do it with … PASSION.

When all is said and done, you are left with one fundamental truth. Success is a mental phenomenon, not a physical one. It must first be conceived internally before it’s manifested externally. Behind the clarity of your goals – determination, persistence, passion, patience – lies one main tenet. Napoleon Hill said it best – what you can conceive and believe you can achieve.

Remember, the one who says it can’t be done is always interrupted by the one who just did. Anyone can learn to successfully trade the stock market with the right amount of perseverance and determination, and the DVD I recently released will teach you exactly what you’ve gotta know and what it takes to succeed at trading the markets.

Michelle: Thank you again Alexander for your time. This has been a very enlightening and eye opening experience into the mind of the successful. I’d say I wish you the best of luck in the future, but I understand now that you probably really won’t need it.



  • Well I ve infrequently readed something interesting like this one ! Please, write more and let me know!

  • Well I ve seldom readed something interesting like this one ! Please, write more and let me know!

  • right on kick that kid again, lord knows that the embarassment of knowing that every trader in every global market has likely seen his crap resume tape isn’t enough. Topical humor, though a week or more behind is not working out for you guys. Don’t put Alex in he is just dragging down your act Michelle.

    • Hi Josh! Thanks for the comment. Yes, we would have liked to have been able to release this video a few days earlier but there’s always a hold up.

      I think Alex achieved Aleksey’s douchey attitude 100% in this vid. He wrote the sketch and I added some final touches :o)

      If you have any suggestions how we can make future videos better please comment!

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