APR
20
2007

Celebrity HUMP IT! or DUMP IT! Top 10 Countdown


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The Top 10 celebrity high jinx and celebrities you’re gonna want to HUMP or DUMP, featuring Vienna Marriott and Gay Salmonella!

10. Reverend Al Sharpton – 9. Reverend Jesse Jackson – 8. Kim Kardashian – 7. Sanjaya Malakar’s sister – 6. Playboy Model Holly Madison – 5. Charlotte Church – 4. Kylie Minogue –
3. Larry Birkhead – 2. Girls Gone Wild’s Joe Francis – 1. Don Imus



NUMBER 10:

Gay: Reverend Al Sharpton

Vienna: We don’t think there’s a need to give this convtroversial loudmouth more publicity so DOUBLE DUMP IT

Gay: Yea and don’t forgot to pay your taxes like the rest of us, Reverend LoopHole. And don’t forget to wear your yarmacle!

NUMBER 9

Gay: Reverend Jesse Jackson’s thoughts on the Imus Implosion (cut to vid of Racist reading Green Eggs and Ham)

Gay: We’re still waiting for you to fire yourself and apologize for calling us all Hymies living in a HymieTown.

Vienna: Another Double Dump!!!

NUMBER 8

Gay: Kim Kardashian is the new Paris Hilton?

Vienna: Kim is Paris’ former BFF [Best Friends Forever] and she also doubles as a urinal.

Gay: BFF? You mean Best Friends who F%$$k?

Vienna: Probably

Gay: Anyway, you’re so totally much hotter

Vienna: Before one of her implants pop and she embarasses herself more than her copycat sex tape I say DUMP IT!

NUMBER 7

Gay: Sanjaya Malakar’s Sister Would Rather Wear a Guitar Naked than Go Clothed

Vienna: Sanjaya’s sister? Ohhh, I thought that WAS Sanjaya…that doesn’t look too humpable to me so I’ll have to say Dump It!

NUMBER 6

Gay: Holly Madison is a Good Bunny and Would Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur

Vienna: Yes, Holly we’d rather you go naked too. And we all know what bunnies do best….ahem….HUMP IT!

NUMBER 5

Gay: Charlotte Church Beached [she's always so "candid" with everyone on her show]

Vienna: I know they say it’s not over until the fat lady sings but I don’t think it’s fair for opera singers to have that kind of immense pressure to pork it up. It’s just not healthy to have that kind of body image.

Gay: No, Vie she’s totally knocked up

Vienna: Oh, she’s preggers – oops…I thought she just swallowed Jonah. My bad!
So, I’d have to say she’s already been humped.

NUMBER 4

Gay: Kylie Minogue’s sizzlin’ campaign for her H&M Swimwear Line

Vienna: ….PRRRRRRR…Meow….A deffinite double “HumP it!”

NUMBER 3

Gay: Larry Birkhead is Baby Dannielynn’s Daddy!

Vienna: Wow…he looks like any elated, proud papasan who just won a $423 million dollar genetic lottery.

Gay: Yeah, somebody’s gonna want to Hump it!

NUMBER 2

Vienna: Busted!!!

Gay: Apparently no one told Girls Gone Wild creator that you can’t avoid the tax man. Pervy Douche Bag Joe Francis has been indicted for tax evasion, arrested for criminal contempt of court and also charged for bribing a jail guard for BOTTLED WATER and possessing prescription drugs in his prison cell.

Vienna: Ouchie! But let’s look at the bright side. Maybe Joe can produce and star in his next video hit behind bars called Prison Bitches Gone Wild.

Gay: We say DUMP it!

Vienna: But some guy named Biff or Loco might say Hump it!

NUMBER 1

Gay: Don Imus’ career now is a big dump it

Vienna: Yes, indeedy…But I’d have to say that six months from now Hump it! I meant his career…I wouldn’t hump him.

Gay: That’s probably one of the nicest insults he’s spewed out, and with all this press he’s getting he’s gonna come back longer, I mean bigger than ever!

Vienna: You go get ‘em you nappy headed ho!

Love ya! Muah!

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