Michelle Renee Coudon as Babette Jones
Alexander Paul Morris as the Scale
Music: UFO “Fixing My Brain” and Building on Fire “Fixing My Brain” remix.
Weight: Way too much
Cigarettes: Way, way too many
Alcohol Units: Way, way, way, way, way too many
1. Learn to speak with a dashing, clever, English accent.
2. Learn to speak with a convincingly good, dashing, clever, English accent.
3. Lose 10 pounds of vanity weight and abort scary granny knickers from — scratch that — Commence to stop all food consumption a.s.a.p.!
4. I resolve to never repeat last night’s activities ever again — and for real this time — no scratch that – needs an amendment for Resolution #3. I resolve to never repeat last night’s activities again unless it’s an emergency to loose additional weight then such activities are deemed acceptable.
5. Quit smoking for good! — no scratch that — I’ll gain weight if I quit smoking. Smoking only acceptable as a meal replacement and since food will no longer be acceptable in my diet cigarettes will now be my only acceptable food source in addition to the occasional alcohol detoxification.
6. Find a handsome, wealthy, dashing bloke who is a fabulous shag.
7. I resolve to exercise at the gym everyday to attract a handsome, wealthy, dashing bloke who is a fabulous shag. Hmmm, scratch that. Cigarette diet may make it impossible to exercise at the gym but I will be fabulously thin so I resolve to go to the gym everyday, wear a skimpy exercise outfit, appear to exercise if necessary to attract a handsome, wealthy, dashing bloke who is a fabulous shag. Hmmmm….handsome, wealthy, dashing bloke who is a fabulous shag who exercises at the gym will most likely be very health conscientious and will not smoke…which could lead to many arguments given my dietary needs of fags and alcohol which could lead to multiple, heart-wrenching break-ups, no more fabulous shags, then a final break-up, then a long period without sex now having had fabulous shag which could be even more difficult. Given my state of severe depression I’ll need to smoke more cigarettes and given my weakened physical condition I’ll need to add ice cream, pasta and cheeses to my diet and many, many more alcohol units. Hmmm….this plan isn’t sounding too good.
I RESOLVE TO NEVER MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING RESOLUTION AGAIN.
Ahh…with no resolutions it looks like I’m off to a fabulous start for the New Year!
Tags: ass, blog, boobs, bridget jones diary, diet, fat, journal, new years resolutions, parody, puke, resolution, sexy girl, shag, shagadelic, tits, vomit
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Well done! Alcohol and cigarettes are cool.
It’s the end of january, which means most people are giving up on their resolution already, which means the gym won’t be as crowded as in early january,= every year the same thing.
This is so bland and generic
Awesome video! 5*
quit smoking and you a supreme wonderful girl in the world of the mankind
funny video.lol scales can be cruel
Subscribe to me because I’m a greedy bastard. Hey, at least I’m honest.
FIVE STARS
Not bad but our series is better…
u got v. nice feet!!!!
im jacob
Ouch .. luved your resolutions .. I added coffee to that one with my cigarettes ..
Missed The Point is that why people In Such things that is absurd? liked
The name Babette is right. Ow OW!
Totally funny video!
OH wow!
hahaha….I VOWED NO MORE resolutions myself gurl…..lol….But arent those made to be broken…LIKE rules? scratch that….maybe Im wrong….hahaha
I’ve got to say, you do a great English accent. thought you were English for a while. And great scale! hahah
wOW THE NEW YEAR HAD BEGUN IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN (:
I’m w/ya Babette! No more resolutions!
No sir,we don’t.
We don’t like ugly feet
I saw butt crack. lol
Hi, just wanted to say I loved the SCREW NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS vid. Brilliant.
From an Englishman who also has not perfected an authentic English accent yet!
Hi, I just wrote you a note, but think it got lost, as I am working on a PC vs. my beloved Mac,and can’t tell what happened to it.
Anyway, to paraphrase,(and perhaps expand) my original comment:
I stumbled across you via an unlikely thread, which I can’t recall at the moment. I’ve watched 3 or 4 of your vids, and am quite impressed, first, and especially, with the quality of the content, and secondly with the quality of production.
I just wanted drop a quick note to say Hi, and tell you that I find your work …, (umm…, oh, what were those words… amazing and insightful? Well they are close enough, so will do for now).
Really neat stuff! You impress me, at least to some degree, as a later day, female version, of Pee Wee Herman. I consider him a comic genius (and I am not Paul Rubens (“ha-ha” -a’la Pee Wee).
Anyways, nice stuff, good luck, and keep at it, John